Going unassisted…
I’ve been pretty fascinated with the idea of birthing unassisted, but not to the point of considering it for myself. I love having the reassurance I felt from having my midwife there as well as my husband and mother (who acted as my doula).
But when I was researching birth stories in preparation for my son’s birth, I confess i found reading unassisted birth stories pretty inspiring. There are some beautiful ones online that very much present the birthing moms as extraordinarily knowledgeable and capable of making good judgement calls—even if it means transferring to a hospital. (An example of one I loved reading.)
Then there are those unplanned, unassisted births…the kind you see on “I didn’t know I was pregnant,” that new (bizarre) series on TLC. Not what I would call empowering by any stretch. Although it does sometimes leave me thinking, “wow, look at all of these babies born perfectly healthy despite a lack of outside care.” Of course they always present the situation like a bullet was dodged. And certainly, good prenatal care and a midwife to assist with the birth are (I think) pretty important safety measures. But it’s also tough not to notice how few of these births require any intervention.
Speaking of interventions: This craziness makes me grateful I didn’t birth in Utah.
-Chrisine
Add comment 24 November 2009
Quick link: Baltimore article on free birth
I think most of us here at this site are fans of midwives, but most would also agree that a women who chooses to give birth alone should be supported in her decision. This article in the Baltimore Sun is quite the mixed bag–with obligatory, ill-informed quotes from Harvard-associated OBs, for example–but it ultimately ends on a positive note with a nice quote from a free-birther.
–Christina
1 comment 22 November 2009
Everything’s cooler in England
. . . even groups that promote natural birth!
These are some pretty classy ads from the Jentle Childbirth Foundation.
–Christina
Add comment 19 November 2009
Quick Link: Telegraph on Sheila Kitzinger and choices about birth
Very interesting article, here.
First of all, I love the headline that refers to Sheila Kitzinger (now 80!) as a “maternity guru”–cool indeed.
Then, some of her comments seem sharply aimed at the Lake-Epstein “My Best Birth” set, and she makes a great point about how the language of “choice” in childbirth is the language of consumer culture.
–Christina
Add comment 15 November 2009
Thoughts on maternal identity
Before I had my son, I’d heard people with children talk about how having kids is the best experience of their life, and about how it changed them as people, and I’d react skeptically. Honestly, I thought it was a line–it was strange, I admitted, that everyone said the same thing, but still, I couldn’t believe at all how it could be true.
Well, I was wrong, and yes, they were right.
But given that parenthood does change everything, and–no offense to the wonderful fathers out there, my father and my husband in particular–I have to believe that motherhood, especially, changes more than everything. It’s like that C.S. Lewis quote (“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen not only because I see it but because by it I see everything else.”): motherhood not only changes our life itself, but also our experience of life–the world–around us.
Of course, there are tons of novels, poems, stories, and memoirs written on this subject (Adrienne Rich’s Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution springs to mind as a fabulous, moving book). It’s just the nature of the subject, though, that it’s hard to stop wondering over and thinking about.
Recently I’ve been noticing how hard it is, really, to remember life before my son was born (he’s fifteen months now, for the record, so it’s not like I’m trying to remember that far back, really). A friend was saying something about her car, which she hardly ever drives, and I suddenly remembered a great time about four years ago when she and I took a drive in it out into the suburbs and had a laughter-filled fall day. Then I got confused, thinking about the memory. Where was Marcus (my son)? Was he with us? Nothing made sense. Logically, I was able to convince myself that he wasn’t there because he–obviously–wasn’t even born yet, but I still had a nagging feeling that something about the memory wasn’t quite right.
Does this happen to other mothers? I feel like I’m so connected to my son that I sometimes don’t know where I stop and he begins. I know that this works for me physically: if he’s sitting on my lap, eating, and we get messy, I lick a sauce-y finger–mine or his, I don’t really notice the difference. Apparently it also works on the abstract level of identity and memory, though, too.
–Christina
1 comment 12 November 2009
An OB muses on medically managed labor. . .
I just came across this (old, but intermittent) blog by an OB with a page of very interesting musings on “protracted” labor and what it means when a mother falls off Friedman’s labor curve. At the moment, there’s only one comment, but it mentions midwifery as a possible solution to the problem. In any case, here, at least, the blog offers some thoughtful wonderings, definitely moving in the right direction, and it also provides a contrast to the Other OB Blog–I don’t even want to give everyone’s unfavorite OB the glory of another Google hit, so I’d rather not mention her or link to her, sorry.
–Christina
2 comments 9 November 2009
Quick links: Lynsee, birth centers, home birth, birth parties in the news
This has been a busy week for news in the birth world. The big news, of course, is the live streamed birth (midwife-attended, but very medically-minded midwives, apparently) of Lynsee in Minnesota. Jill at Unnecesarean.com has two good pieces on Lynsee’s birth, and you can of course watch the footage yourself.
Then, there’s this NYTimes article about the sad closing of an in-hospital, midwife-staffed birth center at Bellevue available to patients without insurance. It’s a good article on a sad subject.
There’s also this piece from the LA Times: “The right place to deliver: home or hospital? It’s a heated argument, and neither side has conclusive evidence. So how to decide?” It starts off well enough, and it seems to give attention to midwives and recent studies and their conclusions on the safety of home birth, but then, frustratingly, the article ends this way: “At the end of the day, convincing evidence to support either the obstetricians or the midwives simply isn’t there. Doctors believe that the burden of proof rests on those advocating delivery outside of the hospital; midwives put physicians on the defensive by pointing out that childbirth is a natural process that historically hasn’t required hospitalization. Until the question of home birth safety is answered, women can’t make truly informed decisions about their childbirth experiences.”
Finally there’s this CBSTV piece on “birth parties,” apparently a cool mom trend inspired by celebrities. Because, yeah, we all had home births just to be cool and be like Cindy Crawford. Sigh. It’s not an absolutely terrible article, though, and I guess it’s the best of the bunch, this week.
–Christina
Add comment 7 November 2009
More Joss Whedon (tangentially)–Alyson Hannigan’s home birth
Just saw this video over on MyBestBirth.com–it’s Alyson Hannigan (Willow) and hubbie (Wesley) talking about their home birth.
–Christina
Add comment 5 November 2009
Family and “help” after a birth
So, this afternoon I’m off to visit a colleague from school who is home with her four-week-old baby. I think I’ve got all my bases covered: I’m bringing soup and a roast chicken with me, I made sure my baby doesn’t have the sniffles, I plan on washing my hands before asking to touch her baby, and I don’t plan on staying long. But I’ve been thinking a lot about my friend lately, and it’s been making me wonder more about the nature of family visits to “help” after a birth.
In her case, my friend had a long labor that ended with a vacuum extraction and a very tough recovery period for her. Never fear, though, right? “Help” arrived in the form of her mother, mother-in-law, and aunt-in-law, all staying with her in overlapping intervals for the first three weeks post-partum. By, oh, perhaps day three of this, I think my friend wanted to tie all three family visitors together and suspend them out the window.
She got lots of “Is the baby eating again?” comments, which also really bugged me when I got them in the beginning too, and lots of “Well, I never nursed my children, and they turned out fine” comments as well. Even when she retreated into her bedroom to nurse the baby on her bed and rest a little, apparently her mother-in-law would follow her, sit on the edge of the bed, and just talk randomly about her friends and neighbors back home–who, by the way, my friend doesn’t even know. My friend did get a lot of home-cooked meals (fresh and now in her freezer), housework, and chores out of the deal, but I don’t think she feels like she came out ahead.
She’s okay now, though–the last of the family has been gone for a week, and she’s starting to feel much better physically as well as emotionally–but I wondered if anyone has any advice for someone in a similar situation in the future.
–Christina
1 comment 3 November 2009
