Another parent vs. person identity crisis
Ever since my husband and I have been married, we’ve had an annual Halloween party. When we moved to our current place just one week before Halloween, we still pulled it off; when our son was just two months old one Halloween, ditto. Now, though, with more of our friends having toddlers, I’m in a mental quandary about how to think of this year’s party: is it a party for adults, at 7:00 or so in the evening, which kids are welcome to attend? Or is it a party for kids, at 5:00–if not earlier!–in the afternoon/evening, with some childless adults there (awkwardly?) as well? For me, personally, I didn’t see the conflict at first until our friends started RSVPing to this year’s party, saying “oh, that’s too late for so-and-so’s bedtime.” Barring work, we bring our son everywhere with us–we bring him to weddings (even black tie ones, assuming he’s invited), and hospitals to visit sick friends or relatives, and dinners out and other evening excursions. I don’t have in my mind a hard and fast division between my life as a person and my life as a parent–I see them as complementary and overlapping, almost exclusively so–but I am getting the impression that other people do. So, on the one hand, this throws me back to my dilemma about the Halloween party, but it also raises all these identity questions in my mind.
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